Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
