i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
