Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
