if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I lost the right to judge tonight
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize