Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
