Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
