I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
