nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
