Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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