he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
