Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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