ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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