And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
