let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize