if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
