Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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