she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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