too bad you live with your parents still
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he thought i was a dude.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
