I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
