Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
