I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
