question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
