i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she smelled like a LAN party
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My vagina just clenched in fear
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
