No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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