cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
