I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
