just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
