How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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