If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
