my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You are a genius and a whore.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
