What a fucking waste of an outfit
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
