so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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