She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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