i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
