You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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