I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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