i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
