and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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