It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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