i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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