I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
