Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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