God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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