Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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