Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Randomize
