I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
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