there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
