I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
