32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just want nice things and good sex
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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