I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
