he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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