You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
