I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
