I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
