Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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