There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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