Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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