no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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