I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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