If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
