so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
