AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
